Well that was Embarrassing

Jul 19, 2021

It was recently pointed out to me that I often say self-deprecating remarks. This hits me hard as this is not the kind of woman I envision myself being and most definitely not the type of woman I want my daughter to mimic.
Last week I met an old friend for lunch and tell her of this new realization. I express my concern that self-deprecation seems to be a habit of mine. She explains that people often do and say things because they subconsciously believe it serves them in some way. I want to get to the root of how I might have deceived myself into believing that self-deprecation helps me.
After an hour of talk, a woman from the table next to us leans over and says, “the term is self-deprecation.”
I realize that I lack the skill of speaking quietly when I am passionate about a subject. Still, I wonder why she is listening so intently to our conversation, “Ya, that’s what I was saying,” I reply.
“Actually, you’ve been saying self-defication the whole time,” the woman says with a rather annoyed look on her face.
I stop for a moment, turning my head cocked to the side, like our deaf dog Buddy does whenever we ask him to sit or come or really anything at all.
Finally, my mind translates the two terms, and then in a flash, I realize she is absolutely correct. I have been loudly talking it up about shitting myself in the middle of a packed restaurant patio for well over an hour.
With wide eyes and a dropped jaw, I look to my friend, “Dude, why didn’t you correct me this whole damn time?”
She takes a long sip of her white wine, smiles, and says, “Because that was some seriously funny shit and last time we had lunch you said I wasn’t a good listener. So I was just practicing my listening skills.”
Well played, my clever friend.
Well played.

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